If you're a long-time Sparkler, you probably know I have a dreadful track record of dating the wrong people. I'm not sure if it's Borderline, bad luck, or (until relatively recently) the feeling that I didn't deserve a loving partner, in the true sense of both words, that's to blame. Probably all of the above.
I know it takes two to tango-- and we both stepped on each other's toes-- but I'm far from responsible for the emotional abuse I've endured. I could have been more patient, I could have been more understanding, I could have been less demanding, and maybe we would have lasted longer. But that doesn't excuse abusive behaviour. Nothing excuses abusive behaviour, EVER.
It doesn't matter if you remember his birthday, you iron his shirts, you pick up after yourself more often, you stop nagging him about that holiday you want to take together. It doesn't matter if you're the perfect girlfriend or you're practically a succubus; if he abuses you in any way, shape or form, dump him. You deserve better. You will find better. You are better off without him.
I'm not the poster child for finding the perfect life partner. I haven't dealt fully with the psychological damage of having been abused, obviously, since I've chosen abusive boyfriends again and again and somehow thought they'd stop hurting me and start loving me. But what I do know for sure, is I'm getting better. This relationship didn't last nearly as long as another did. I got out. And I know I deserve better.
So for now, unless the right person magically appears before me, I'm going to enjoy the single life. I'm going to focus on my career, my mental health and my platonic relationship. Sparklers, we deserve to be happy. Let's remember that.